So I'm done complaining about how bad of an adult I am. Simply because ain't nobody got time for that. And by nobody, I mean, you, lovely reader. I took this quiz about who I should marry, and no lie, my result was 'a robot programmed to love.' Really? Apparently, "a robot an give you the kind of unconditional love a person never could", although I'm pretty sure we'd break up after I forgot to oil his gasket for the sixth time (see previous post). But I doubt a robot is my soulmate, anyway. I did however think that I'd ride off into the sunset with Aubrey Graham. That is assuming we ever met considering he's a, you know, celebrity and all.

Does anyone remember the t.v. show, Degrassi The Next Generation? At 13, Degrassi and Higher Ground were my favorite tv shows because I was obsessed with Aubrey Graham (hip-hop artist, Drake) and Hayden Christensen, respectively. Especially Aubrey. (Yes, first name basis). Don't believe me?

One of the books I carried around with me back then. Covered in things I loved.

Proof of either a super fan or super stalker. Let's go with option number 1 for my sake.

Back when he first entered the scene as Jimmy Brooks on Degrassi, I was convinced he was my soulmate. I watched every single episode with him in it, including the difficult-to-stomach episode when Jimmy got shot by Rick. And get this: I was so mad. Obviously, I knew it wasn't real, but I seemed like they were trying to write Aubrey out of the show and as the future love of his life, I wasn't having that. So what did I do? I wrote an email. To The N! (I cringe in embarrassment just typing all of this). But I just knew that it was meant to be. How could it not be? According to the 500,000 interviews I watched of him, we were perfect for each other. As a teenager, he was teased for "acting too white" just like me. And like me, he had a killer vocabulary as a teenager and was so well-spoken. We were both writers. He had dozens of notebooks stacked in his room, all full of music, and I had more than a few notebooks full of my stories. He was sweet and charming and humble and mine - at least in my head.

Because it's hilarious, it's the last day of April and it's kinda relevant. 

Although a lot of this is kinda mortifying, I do take pride in being able to say I was the first to see his potential. Because not only is he clearly talented, but he really grew into his looks (not that you could tell my 13-year-old-self he wasn't the hotness boy ever). In fact, during my first two years of college, I got into countless arguments defending the blasting of his music from my dorm room. According to everyone else, Drake circa 2008 wasn't even worth listening to. Ha! Five years later and how wrong were they? Well, considering that Drake's now a megastar with his choice of any celebrity girlfriend, how wrong was I about our future love story? Oh well :)

I could've been the only teenage with a slightly obsessive celebrity crush. Share below!

9 Reasons I'm Leaving My Boyfriend

That was a sneaky title, wasn't it? :)

A little funny to kick this off: I mentioned to my boyfriend that I'd be writing a post about 'fictional characters I'd leave him for' just to gauge how he felt about it. His response? "It's cool. Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) is at the top of my list." I can't even blame him. She's probably at the top of my list too. So with a green light from the Mister (if I needed it, I guess) and a little tweaking of the topic, here are the 9 celebrities/characters I might, under certain circumstances, consider leaving my man for - except not really, probably.

CARMELO ANTHONY

Considering that my boyfriend and Carmelo share a lot of the same features (deep-set eyes, caramel skin, full lips, endearing crooked smile and 6'7" stature), it only makes sense that he's at the top of my list. I like that in many ways he's clean cut, but the tatted sleeves let you know he's just the right amount of bad boy. Plus, I love his basketball game. He's not a loud mouth, but his stats scream "superstar". And even though the Knicks' record this year is somewhere in the 3-652 range, Carmelo's performance is always stellar, which is probably why it's likely we'll lose him next year. Boooo.

CHARLES MICHAEL DAVIS/MARCEL GERARD

Another boy with deep-set eyes. If you can't tell already, I swoon for a mysterious gaze. But I'm still a little unsure of this one. Leave my man? Ehh, Charles is still a little new to the game, having just made it to primetime in The Originals as vampire king of Louisiana, Marcel. But as his hotness marinates episode after episode, he may find himself a seat at the table, so I had to include him. If only for the extra eye candy :)

JAX TELLER

If you don't watch Sons Of Anarchy, you'll probably have no idea who this is, but that's okay because you won't ever forget him now. Jax is the hottest biker boy, err, biker President, and he's the perfect combination of tough and sweet, and always trustworthy. He loves his wife to pieces but he's also a brawlin' son of a you-know-what. Plus, he's got a beard, and you know what they say (or maybe it's just me?), never trust a man without a 'stache. Again, maybe just me, but he kind of looks a little like Jesus, no? Anyways, just for good measure, click here. You're welcome.


JARED LETO 

Jared Leto's got a silky, crooning voice that just oozes of sex. We established this two days ago. But aside from a voice that could make me a believer, he's also a downright thoughtful, lovely person. Interviews with him read somewhere between talking to the Dalai Lama and a rock god. And it doesn't hurt that I think the man is flipping' gawwgeouusss. Apparently, I dig the Jesus look-a-likes. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I now can't stop singing "When You Were Young" by The Killers ("He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman, like you remember when you were young"). #WhatsWrongWithMe #DidIJustHastagInABlogPost


DWAYNE JOHNSON/THE ROCK

In case you missed my still crushing onThe Rock post, let me rehash the important part: what is a crush list without The Rock? It doesn't matter what it is! Okay, cheesy WWE reference, but it still stands. The man is fiiinneeee. There are no words.

IDRIS ELBA

In The Wire, Idris' startling good looks and charismatic persona made me love his character Stringer Bell, a character we're suppose to really dislike by the end. But, SPOILER ALERT!, when he dies I'm screaming bloody murder at the screen, although Stringer kinda deserved it. Seeing him in Takers opposite many a hot men in suits and using his natural English accent, solidified it for me. I damn near died. Idris also serves as my substitute for Denzel because although he's still the man, I have to acknowledge that Denzel's old enough to be my father :\

DANIEL GILLIES/ELIJAH MIKAELSON 

Now although I love me a good Originals brother showdown and a Klaus speech about destruction of all those who oppose him, I have to admit that I'm a little bit fonder of the other, less maniacal brother. I guess I just prefer the good guys (re: Stephan Salvatore). I'm also a sucker for a man in a suit, which is pretty much Elijah's uniform. But I also love Daniel's laid-back leather jacket over a white v-neck. Good thing I don't have to choose.

DRAKE

I mentioned previously how he was my dream guy for most of my teenage years. It was a borderline obsession honestly; I still have the notebook with pictures, including baby pictures (?!) of him plastered all over it. I could offer proof, but I think that's enough embarrassment for one day. Suffice to say, I loved Jimmy Brooks long before the wheelchair, and I blasted his first few tracks like Do What You Do and Asthma Team back when he was just Aubrey Graham. My 13-year-old-heart was convinced we were soulmates because of how cute and well-spoken he was (& still is).

ROBERT PATTINSON

I'm sure many disagree with me on this one, and I have no real explanation, aside from the fact that there is just something so romantic about his face, if that makes any sense at all (& I'm sure it doesn't). All that intensity in his deep-set, brooding, blue eyes and chiseled jawline. Robert can intensely love me anytime.

Clearly, all of my men of my dreams, and the man of my reality, have deep, brooding eyes, dark features and beards (*cough* real men). Yet, there's no discrimination 'round these parts. Eric Northman, you're welcome anytime.

1; 2; 3; 4, 4.5; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9.

Why I'm Still Crushing on The Rock

Why does that feel like some huge admission? Ten years ago this would've felt more like a "duh" statement and less like a confession. Back in 2002, it would've been excusable to be crushing hard on The Rock. Well, aside from the fact that Triple H was my favorite WWF wrestler and he & The Rock had major beef, so I wasn't actually allowed to like him. It's kind of like not being allowed to like BSB because you are an NSYNC fan, but jamming to "Backstreet's Back" in your room when your friends aren't around to judge you. But now it's not a make believe beef that makes it shameful, but rather, it's the fact that Dwayne Johnson is just over 40 years old and a rather low-key celebrity, breaking all unwritten laws that celebrity crushes must be twenty-something and media tabloid worthy. But, if you ask me, this more than makes up for, well, anything.

Now, being extremely muscular isn't like a prerequisite for me (I'm normally not a fan of it), but it surely isn't a deal-breaker either. Apparently, the reason he's so fit is because he's training to play Hercules in the upcoming film adaptation. Not that I really care why he looks like a creature of perfection. When the world gifts you, you don't ask questions; you shut up and you silently say thank you with a nod and wide eyes.

He's not afraid to let you know: even he has a difficult workout sometimes. His Instagram is full of workout photos captioned with words like "When it comes to success, consistency is key. Consistent hard work that we may not like, but for a payoff we'll love #Earnit". He also posts motivational videos where he stops and yells "focus!" in the middle of a set to a gym full of people. He works hard, and he lets us know that all that glorious-ness (yeah, I made that up) doesn't come easy.

He conquers roller coasters. As if a mere roller coaster could scare a man who can curl 80 pounds. That's right. Eighty pounds per arm. His arms are almost the size of his head, and he's cruising down this mountain like he owns it. I'm not understanding the fear of everyone behind him. As if anything could possibly get past this rock of a man (see what I did there?). And the guy in the back? That would totally be me, crying because I'm not close enough to hold on to one of those amazing biceps. Just sayin'.

He looks at home with a spatula. How can you not love a man that cooks? I'm sure that when I found out my boyfriend makes a pretty tasty pan of lasagna, he became my own personal Mr. Big (& Tall) right then and there. A man who can, and does, cook is after my own heart, for real. And breakfast is my favorite meal even if I'm eating it after noon. I smell what he's cooking and it's blueberry-banana pancakes, ladies. I doubt anyone would mind waking up to that.

He gets into the festivities and isn't afraid to be silly. How could any Christmas lover not get in the spirit with this picture of perfection? A fully decked out tree, gifts galore and a beautiful man in a santa hat. Only 351 days until the season. And he has no problem drinking with himself. Here, he is ringing in the New Year with a personal bottle of champagne and the second-best looking guy in the room.   

And let's be real, he's gorgeous. Featured on the cover of Essence magazine in August of 2013  
and interviewed within, he states that he wants "someone who can trust that my big hands are going to take care of them." Swoon. Well, if I didn't have a pair of big hands taking care of me already, I might be tempted :)

Who is your celebrity crush? Do you share mine or do you have a steamy one of your own?

 1; 2; 3; 4; 5, edited by me; 6