How Not To Be An Old Fogie

Monday, August 4, 2014

I use to think I was pretty internet/social media savvy. At least a few years back I thought so. Who am I kidding? However, pathetic it might be, I'm only just now realizing that I'm no longer a teenager and therefore behind the 'trending' curve. I may still watch and fangirl over all the teeny bopper shows like Vampire Diaries, Teen Wolf and the like, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm a real life adult who simply can't keep up anymore. Hence my recent tweet: "What does 'tbh rate' mean? Proof I'm getting old - the yougins have terms I can no longer translate". Say word. I may claim to be #ForeverSixteen, but truth be told, sometimes I have no idea what actual 16-year-olds are talking about.

Not to be totally outsmarted by a bunch of hormonal, angst-ridden teenagers, I took to the interwebs, determined to find a handy-dandy translator - or at the very least, a compilation of shit I need to know the meaning of. And I figured I'd share my findings here with you all, although I'm sure most of you aren't fuddy-duddies like me who need teaching on such matters. Annnndddd, the use of terms like "handy-dandy" and "fuddy-duddy" are not making me feel any younger. On to the list!

There I go with these old fogie terms again. Gosh, darn it! :)
*Note: A few of these are ones I already knew/ didn't have to look up, but they still fit into this kind of list.

Is that a thing? - Basically, this decades version of "making something happen" Mean Girls style.

Or Nah - It means exactly what it says ("or no") and are usually attached to some request or question as the "no" to the "yes". For instance, I might ask my girlfriend "We going to get drinks after work, or nah?". I've also heard guys also use it as a way to crudely suggest a sexual act. Eww.  

Swerve - I first heard it in the song 'Mercy' by Kanye and I can't lie, it's a part of my vocabulary. It means to dodge something or curve someone's advances. To ignore the creepy guy at the bar trying to buy you drinks is to swerve him. It's also a mean way to tell someone when you don't want to talk to them or want them to move out of your way (although I've never actually said it to someone).

FBO - There was no FaceBook when I was in high school, but with the technology generation, nothing's real until it's "FaceBook Official." Because FaceBook is apparently the end-all be-all.

Merked - We used this when I was in high school, but when I use it now and then with people my age, confused faces stare back at me. Merked means  to kill or to be dead, whether that's literal (They merked my man in last night's episode. Shot him right between the eyes!) or not-so-literal (The Giants merked the Eagles in that football game last night).

TBH Rate - Meaning "To Be Honest, Rate", it's the phrase that spurred this whole thing. Apparently, when someone posts a picture on IG that either says this or is captioned with this, they will give you their honest opinion about you and rate how 'hot' you are on a scale from 1 - 10. Imagine my surprise when I liked this picture without knowing what the hell it meant.

BMS - Going along with 'TBH Rate' above, "Break My Scale" is the rating above a perfect 10.

Styll - A word used to mean "though" and added to the end of a phrase to stress something. As in, "That final exam was hard! I merked it but styll".

Flex - I'm pretty sure this term got popular when I was in college. It means to show off and can be used as a good or a bad thing. Hilariously, I had to tell one of my friends what it meant in a club when someone told her she was "straight flexin'". I dieeeee.

Derp - A response to a stupid comment or thing that someone does. For some reason, it reminds me of the grunt Scooby Doo makes when he's confused.

Moss - It's like snatching something or grabbing something quick. Don't feel bad if you had no idea what it meant. When I first met him a few years ago, my boyfriend had to explain that the term was generated from a superstar wide receiver, Randy Moss, who made incredible catches no matter who was defending him.

LB - Like Back
I've seen this repeated about a bagillion times under both Kylie and Kendall Jenner's IG pictures, and had to look it up. Followers comment with LB meaning "like back" under a picture trying to prompt Kylie, Kendall or someone else to like their pictures. And apparently, Kylie is not to happy about it.

R4R - Another one I've seen on the Jenner girls' pictures, "Rate for Rate" is trading rates instead of likes.

YAASSS! - I admit it: I love this word and probably use it way too often in conversation. I'm sure we all know what it means now as it's just another way to agree with something and say "yeah" but with a lot more excitement.

Hunty - The first time I heard this used it was in conjunction with YAAASS and coming out of the mouth of the one and only Layfette from Tree Blood. "Hunty" is basically "honey" or "girlfriend". It can also be used to emphasize an insult.

Doe - Another word for "though".

THOT - I've hated this term ever since I finally found out what it stands for. "That Hoe Over There." I can't explain why, it just makes me cringe. Except when one of my twitter friends hilariously asked if a young THOT is called a "tater thot". I can't even!

I can't even - Speaking of, in case you didn't know, "I can't even" is used when you have no words for something because it's too funny or too ridiculous, too sad or just too much in general.

Now that I think about it, maybe I don't want to be a perpetual teenager. Keeping up with all this is hard work.

Am I missing anything? Educate me!

5 comments:

  1. haha I love YASSSS too! I admit I knew some of these (too much love and hip hop watching) but some still have me at a loss ....

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  2. dont forget the ever dreaded "bae" smh i hate it! lol but "I can't!" is definitely my favorite phrase that I use these days.

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  3. I'm so guilty of "I can't!" haha

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  4. For real. I feel like they are inventing their own, whole new language! Ones that I've heard while hanging around with some of my favorite high schoolers are: swerve, FBO (which pretty sure I've used as well), flex, derp, yasss, and I can't even (which I have used as well).

    Is this how our parents felt when we talked growing up?? haha

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