Share a photo of something old. Maybe something that has personal history for you, that was passed down to you, and that has special meaning to you. Tell us about it & why it's special.

A tiara fit for a princess, and a crown made for a queen.

My nanny was born in 1932. She was always very beautiful and very popular, and sometime in 1940, her beauty and her grace won her the title of "Queen" at her prom. I was born in 1988. I was her first grandbaby and the most beautiful baby she'd ever seen, so she said, and at first sight, my cherub cheeks and joyful giggles won her heart. Before we lost her, she gave me her prom queen crown. I was helping her clean through a few of her dresser drawers and she found the crown sitting in one of them. She stared at it for quite sometime, and then turned to me. Securing it in place, she said "for my beauty queen" and kissed my forehead.

This was one of my nanny's most treasured possessions, and she gave it to me. At 18, she was a beauty queen, and at 66, she was my beauty queen as I was hers. In each others eyes, we were perfect, we could do no wrong. On days when I'm feeling particularly down, I like to see myself through my nanny's eyes, with a crown fit for queen atop my head.

In 2006, I attended my senior prom in a gorgeous floor-length dress and my very first pair of Jimmy Choo strappy heels. I didn't win prom queen that night, far from it. But I had brought my most prized possession, my own crown (and with it my nana's presence), that night and felt like a beauty queen anyway. And if I ever get married, this crown will be my something old, because I could never embark on something new without it.
   
Thank you all so much for reading along for this month of Blogtember. It's been wonderful giving you bits and pieces of myself daily and getting to know some of you through your posts. I hope you stick around a bit longer - I've still got plenty more to say :)

Dear Women Who Talk S#!t About Their Men On Social Media,

Today's Blogtember prompt: An anonymous letter to your Facebook friends. Be as snarky as you'd like (but no real names!).

Photo Credit

Dear Women Who Talk S#!t About Their Men on Social Media,

Stop. Seriously, just stop. It's embarrassing. Both for you and for me as a member of the female gender. I can't stand when I'm ranting about something and one of my guys friends is all like "don't go subliminal, emotional tweeting about me and s#!t." They expect this from women because quite frankly, that's what some of you do. You wanna throw a quote up there about how a woman deserves to be loved or some inspiring music lyric (think Maroon 5 "She Will Be Loved" or Maxwell's "Fortunate") ? Fine. But an entire status dedicated to how "men ain't s#!t"? Please, no. I can't stand this notion in general, anyways. I don't want to know that your no-good boyfriend forgot your anniversary or that the father of your child spent the rent money on a trip to Vegas. And you shouldn't want me or anyone else on FaceBook to know that either.

If you are wondering why you suddenly cannot see my profile, it's because I can no longer be a witness to you demeaning yourself. Really, what does this public bashing accomplish? Is it for people to comment on how messed up your guy is? I'm assuming that because you are in a relationship that you care about your guy (goodness I hope so!), so why would you put him out there like that? Because really, all I end up thinking is "wow, she's a dumb broad". I mean excuse my french, but it really just makes you look bad. I get that relationships are difficult to navigate, and that men surely don't make it easier sometimes. So call your girl up and ask for some advice. If we're friends, ask me out for a few drinks and some "girl" time. Don't put him on blast because it's putting you on blast too. I mean, you're still with him, right?  

And then you go on to talk about how you are an "independent woman" or a "single mom perfectly capable of raising her child on her own". I'm not going to be as bold as to doubt your qualities. For all I know, you are all of that and more. But how does your ratchet status support it? You're fine being a single mom so you've gotta let everyone know how bitter you are about your deadbeat baby-daddy? Umm yeah…

So go ahead, be independent, be capable, be beautiful, be smart, be all of the things - and please, be quiet.

Sincerely,
A Woman With Good Intentions

*Please note: I don't intend to bash anyone in anyway. I'm not a woman-hating woman or anything. I just need us to do better. 

Throwing It Back to Oxford, England

*Warning: This is a very picture-heavy post! But it's all so amazing, I promise!

Go to a coffee shop. Order a favorite drink. Write about what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Or write about anything you'd like!

I, of course, got my (almost) daily coffee, but I had to grab it and run, so I didn't actually sit in the coffee shop. But then again, the prompt says to "go" there and "order" and then "write", so technically, I'm abiding by the rules (ha, newly acquired legal skills at work!). 

Caramel Macchiato
I carried mine out in a recyclable cup, but that wouldn't be very pretty now would it?

Reminiscing about the "good ol' days" makes me happy. At least it makes me happy today. And considering that today is #ThrowbackThursday, I thought it fitting to talk about something that made me happy in the past. A little over a year ago, I visited Oxford with my law school for 10 days, which is entirely too short a visit. It was the first time out of the country in over 4 years, my first time flying totally by myself, and my first stamp in my new adult passport (at 15, I had a "minor" one) so I was excited that my first stamp would read: London Heathrow - even though I spent very little time in London.

From the airport, we took the Airline Bus to Oxford University, where we checked into our dorm rooms. I absolutely adored my bedroom window and the view from it. I wish I could have taken it home with me! My window faced High Street, which is a quaint street cluttered with cutesy little storefronts like a luxury chocolate shop.

Cue the angel singing! ♫♪

High Street



The view of High Street during the day and then at night.

I spent the first day puttering around Oxford because I felt like staying in the dorm would be wasting the valuable day away. The City of Oxford is quite beautiful and boasts of historical structures, many of them clad in precious metals like gold and bronze.

Standing in front of the Radcliffe Camera

A fair amount of time was spent eating and drinking. I spent many class sessions nibbling on little pastries and sipping tiny, yet very strong, cups of coffee. Evenings were filled with plenty of wine and both familiar and unfamiliar dishes (wish I could find the pictures of fish & chips!).

   

I went to dinner by myself that night, chatted up the bartender & made a few new friends. It's legitimately one of my proudest moments :) 

 


A trip to the Oxford Botanic Gardens was a lot more enjoyable than expected. Although I can't say that I enjoyed the sand and tiny peebles in my shoes. Yet, with exotic plants and lovely flowers surrounding you, how can one possibly be miserable about a bit of sand? And there was a castle!

Did you know that lily pads turn up like that?
I didn't!

Banana tree.

Castle!

And we beat up the beat in the club near the Crown with some of the locals and a super hot bartender named Vasska whom I unfortunately do not have a photo of :) We were so spent Jersey Shorin' and what not that we needed dessert afterwards.

                     

                     Oh, this little baby? Just a delicious brownie topped with liquor-infused icecream.
No Big deal!

I only got to spend one full day in London (and ½ of that was for visiting law firms). Many of the other students we able to extend there trips past the end of the program, relocating to London hotels for a few days and some eventually traveling to other countries like Paris and Amsterdam. I had to get back to New York quickly as I had to conduct an event for my law journal. I can't tell you how jealous I was that they got to fully experience London (and some of them even arrived early to attend the London Olympics!). I saw a few main attractions, but I truly need to return in experience London on it's own.

Close-up of Buckingham Palace.

Big Ben at a distance.

Iconic London telephone booths!

A Decision I Didn't Make

Write about a time you screwed up - a mistake you made.

Can I only choose one? There are definitely a few that come to mind, but I'll share one that's been on my mind recently.

In late April of 2012, I made a decision that I'm convinced greatly effected my present and future. I'm not sure that it was the decision in and of itself that made it a mistake but rather the underlying reason. I made the decision on the advice of others, not because it was what I really wanted. See, I can deal with a bad decision that was mine and mine alone. You know that quote - "Never have regrets because at one point, everything you did was exactly what you wanted"? I can dig it. But it's the ones I've made that weren't what I wanted, those will always eat at me. I'm not placing blame because I take ownership. Yet mostly, the biggest screw up of all, was making a decision for the "right reasons" instead of "my reasons."

In the midst of running for Editor-in-Chief of my law journal, interviewing for the securities clinic at my law school and studying for final exams, I tried to secure an internship for the Summer of 2012. And with a little luck, I got a coveted position with the government, and accepted it after not hearing back from any other positions I applied for. A few days later, I got a second round of interviews with a huge securities firm, and decided to keep the interview, which went well.  -- I should explain that after my first year of law school I decided that securities law was what I wanted to practice. And after an internship in a corporate/securities environment and 2 rounds of interviews with an amazing, top law firm in NY (an interview which I totally screwed up by the way but that's a mistake for a different day), I knew that's where I belonged. -- A week  after accepting the government position, I got a call from the corporate offices of a broadcast television network, informing me that I had been selected for a summer position. To say I was conflicted would be an understatement. My entire being knew that the position for me was either with the securities firm (if I got it) or with the network. But the government position was a government position after all. It was a big deal, would look great on my resume no matter what field I decided to work in, and was the type of position you just don't turn down - and you certainly don't accept it and then turn it down. Almost every colleague that I spoke to told me to just stay where I was (shout out to the few that told me to follow my dreams!), and my law school advisor actually advised me not to rescind my acceptance because if I did, it would jeopardize my ability to participate in any other law school sponsored career events (what?!). I was terrified and wanted to make the right decision. So I kept the position I agreed to, and rejected the one with the network (turns out I never heard back from the securities firm). I went on to spend the summer as a government intern and absolutely loved it, learning dozens of valuable lessons and skills that I know I wouldn't have picked up anywhere else. But on the first day of my internship there, my supervisor opened by saying "We had a few more interns, but they found paying positions that were just better suited for them. And I encouraged them to go for it." And at that moment, I knew that no matter how great this internship was I was always going to regret my decision because it wasn't really what I wanted.


We all make mistakes, some small and others quite large. And as cliché as it sounds, it's learning from them that makes all the difference.

A Girl Who Reads: Atonement

First things first, this title. It was inspired by this quote in my last post. As I said there, I think it embodies everything about me so exquisitely and I also think it's the perfect title for a series about book reviews.

Also, Blogtember prompts us to  review a book, place or product today, making this a "two-birds-one-stone" situation as I planned to upload this review this week anyway.

So, I have to preface this by disclosing a pretty embarrassing fact: I've been reading, or rather attempting to read, this book since December 2010. Yes, that's right - 2010. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the New York Library on 10th Street thinks I stole it and has assessed charges on my account (Not that I would know, I haven't checked out a library book since I found a crusty something in the binding of Where The Heart Is by Billie Letts. But that's a story for another day.). In my defense, I was busy, you know, trying to survive law school and buried under dozens of lengthly, although entertaining, Scalia dissents. Or maybe I just got hung up on rereading the steamy sex scene circa chapter 11 (I'm getting ahead of myself!). Also, I generally don't like watching a movie adaption of a book until I've read the novel, so I'll do a mini recap of the movie.

With all of that said, I'm probably the last person left on the literate planet to read this book, but I write this review anyway, in the possibility that there is some poor soul like me, who hasn't been able to pick up a real book for years. 

QUICK INFO

Title: Atonement

Author: Ian McEwan

Publication: Anchor Books 2001

Major Characters: Briony Tallis, Cecilia Tallis, Robbie Turner

Main Plot: At the age of 13, Briony fashions herself a writer but one evening, her imagination causes a series of misfortunes, warping an innocent encounter into a heinous event and forever changing the lives of everyone it touches.

Favorite Line(s):
"A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended."
"Now and then, an inch below the water's surface, the muscles of his stomach tightened involuntarily as he recalled another detail. A drop of water on her upper arm. Wet. An embroidered flower, a simple daisy, sewn between the cups of her bra. Her breasts wide apart and small. On her back, a mole half covered by a strap. When she climbed out of the pond a glimpse of the triangular darkness her knickers were supposed to conceal. Wet. He saw it, he made himself see it again. The way her pelvic bones stretched the material clear of the skin, the deep curve of her waist, her startling whiteness. When she reached for her skirt, a carelessly raised foot revealed a patch of soil on each pad of her sweetly diminished toes. Another mole the size of a farthing on her thigh and something purplish on her calf - a strawberry mark, a scar. Not blemishes. Adornments."

My Rating

Although it took me nearly 3 years to read it, Atonement was a really easy and enjoyable read once I actually picked it up. I probably sat down to read it 5-6 times, devouring 50 pages at a time. McEwan's prose is absolutely breathtaking. I found it difficult to choose my favorite lines because the detailed way it which he describes events, scenes and people is so beautiful. The characters are flawed, some even greatly flawed, and it pulls the reader into the story deeper. I cried nearly half a dozen times. The reader chastises the characters for their decisions yet roots for them all the while. Briony's vivid imagination, which is usually her greatest asset, proves to be quite the curse when she witnesses an interaction between her sister Cecilia and Robbie, the son of the family's servant, and then conjures a story about it - a story that changes everyone's lives. While the opening of the novel covers this event during the summer of 1935, the middle (second and third parts) describes to the lives of our characters during World War II, and the conclusion leaps forward to 1999.

For the first time, I don't believe that too much was lost in translation regarding the film adaptation. Delicate scenes were portrayed with care yet incredible accuracy, at least based on how I thought of them. The sex (love-making) scene - whew! Go check that out here if you dare. I thought it was cast perfectly. My only criticism would be that the desire to remain true to the book produced a great interpretation of the first part of the story, but left something to be desired for the rest. And although there are pretty striking scenes throughout, there was something about the adaptation of the second part that made it less dramatic than the novel.

When I closed the book, I felt uneasy and a bit shaken, because it's the kind of book that affects you. From the first page until the turn of the last, Atonement questions the manner in which we interact with each other, analyzes how both actions and inactions can shape our future, determines whether an apology has a shelf-life, and leaves us questioning "in whom can we trust?"