9 Reasons I'm Leaving My Boyfriend

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

That was a sneaky title, wasn't it? :)

A little funny to kick this off: I mentioned to my boyfriend that I'd be writing a post about 'fictional characters I'd leave him for' just to gauge how he felt about it. His response? "It's cool. Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) is at the top of my list." I can't even blame him. She's probably at the top of my list too. So with a green light from the Mister (if I needed it, I guess) and a little tweaking of the topic, here are the 9 celebrities/characters I might, under certain circumstances, consider leaving my man for - except not really, probably.

CARMELO ANTHONY

Considering that my boyfriend and Carmelo share a lot of the same features (deep-set eyes, caramel skin, full lips, endearing crooked smile and 6'7" stature), it only makes sense that he's at the top of my list. I like that in many ways he's clean cut, but the tatted sleeves let you know he's just the right amount of bad boy. Plus, I love his basketball game. He's not a loud mouth, but his stats scream "superstar". And even though the Knicks' record this year is somewhere in the 3-652 range, Carmelo's performance is always stellar, which is probably why it's likely we'll lose him next year. Boooo.


CHARLES MICHAEL DAVIS/MARCEL GERARD

Another boy with deep-set eyes. If you can't tell already, I swoon for a mysterious gaze. But I'm still a little unsure of this one. Leave my man? Ehh, Charles is still a little new to the game, having just made it to primetime in The Originals as vampire king of Louisiana, Marcel. But as his hotness marinates episode after episode, he may find himself a seat at the table, so I had to include him. If only for the extra eye candy :)



JAX TELLER

If you don't watch Sons Of Anarchy, you'll probably have no idea who this is, but that's okay because you won't ever forget him now. Jax is the hottest biker boy, err, biker President, and he's the perfect combination of tough and sweet, and always trustworthy. He loves his wife to pieces but he's also a brawlin' son of a you-know-what. Plus, he's got a beard, and you know what they say (or maybe it's just me?), never trust a man without a 'stache. Again, maybe just me, but he kind of looks a little like Jesus, no? Anyways, just for good measure, click here. You're welcome.


JARED LETO 

Jared Leto's got a silky, crooning voice that just oozes of sex. We established this two days ago. But aside from a voice that could make me a believer, he's also a downright thoughtful, lovely person. Interviews with him read somewhere between talking to the Dalai Lama and a rock god. And it doesn't hurt that I think the man is flipping' gawwgeouusss. Apparently, I dig the Jesus look-a-likes. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I now can't stop singing "When You Were Young" by The Killers ("He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman, like you remember when you were young"). #WhatsWrongWithMe #DidIJustHastagInABlogPost


DWAYNE JOHNSON/THE ROCK

In case you missed my still crushing onThe Rock post, let me rehash the important part: what is a crush list without The Rock? It doesn't matter what it is! Okay, cheesy WWE reference, but it still stands. The man is fiiinneeee. There are no words.

IDRIS ELBA

In The Wire, Idris' startling good looks and charismatic persona made me love his character Stringer Bell, a character we're suppose to really dislike by the end. But, SPOILER ALERT!, when he dies I'm screaming bloody murder at the screen, although Stringer kinda deserved it. Seeing him in Takers opposite many a hot men in suits and using his natural English accent, solidified it for me. I damn near died. Idris also serves as my substitute for Denzel because although he's still the man, I have to acknowledge that Denzel's old enough to be my father :\

DANIEL GILLIES/ELIJAH MIKAELSON 

Now although I love me a good Originals brother showdown and a Klaus speech about destruction of all those who oppose him, I have to admit that I'm a little bit fonder of the other, less maniacal brother. I guess I just prefer the good guys (re: Stephan Salvatore). I'm also a sucker for a man in a suit, which is pretty much Elijah's uniform. But I also love Daniel's laid-back leather jacket over a white v-neck. Good thing I don't have to choose.

DRAKE

mentioned previously how he was my dream guy for most of my teenage years. It was a borderline obsession honestly; I still have the notebook with pictures, including baby pictures (?!) of him plastered all over it. I could offer proof, but I think that's enough embarrassment for one day. Suffice to say, I loved Jimmy Brooks long before the wheelchair, and I blasted his first few tracks like Do What You Do and Asthma Team back when he was just Aubrey Graham. My 13-year-old-heart was convinced we were soulmates because of how cute and well-spoken he was (& still is).

ROBERT PATTINSON

I'm sure many disagree with me on this one, and I have no real explanation, aside from the fact that there is just something so romantic about his face, if that makes any sense at all (& I'm sure it doesn't). All that intensity in his deep-set, brooding, blue eyes and chiseled jawline. Robert can intensely love me anytime.

Clearly, all of my men of my dreams, and the man of my reality, have deep, brooding eyes, dark features and beards (*cough* real men). Yet, there's no discrimination 'round these parts. Eric Northman, you're welcome anytime.

1; 2; 3; 4, 4.5; 5; 6; 7; 89.

4 comments:

  1. I have a friend who has alwayyyyys been in love with Jared Leto, and I totally never really saw what she saw in him. He's just not really my type. But then I saw him a few award shows ago and I was like DAMN, there's just something SO sexy about him. Now I kinda dig the grunge, ombre hair look he's rocking. Wow. I can't believe it took me this long. lol.

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  2. This post is full of yes yes yes. Minus Drake. I just cant.

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  3. Mmmmm, love me some Elijah/Marcel action here! Great picks. :)

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  4. Jax Teller. COME TO MAMA

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